i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
