Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
