He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
