I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
