Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
