remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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