Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
