no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
