I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
