Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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