how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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