please come you make the beer taste better
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
