so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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