so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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