come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
