Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
