He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
