u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
