I accidentally had phone sex last night
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Pooping to opera.
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