Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
