what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
50% drunk capacity currently
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
