Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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