i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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