Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
