guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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