Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
