i just had sex bonerless
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
