No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
