people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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