He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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