Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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