We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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