Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
