In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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