why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
