Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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