Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
In America we eat man semen.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You made out with two different species that night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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