i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
