His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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