One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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