I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
