the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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