I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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