I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
