1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
