Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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