Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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