How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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