i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
