You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's blow job season.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
