He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
