Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
