omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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