we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
