Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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