Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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