Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
