Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
