Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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