Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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