I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
