Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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